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Chick test & Chap test







For chicks

 1. What's your idea of a smashing outfit?
A. Military chic, accessorized with a riding crop
B. Two melons, strategically placed
C. Anything bought and paid for by "Daddy"

 2. You come back to your pad and discover your man in bed with some other bird. How do you react?
A. Shoot him on sight. He was unnecessary anyway.
B. You understand that a man has needs, so you wait outside patiently
C. Jump between the sheets and make like three weasels!

 3. You're on your first date and your man is feeling randy. How far do you go?

A. There's limits, baby?
B. As far as he wants me to!
C. If he undoes one button, he's piranha food

 4. Your man wants to "settle down" and move to the suburbs. What say you?
A. "I thought you'd never ask!"
B. "That's a funny one, love! You almost had me!"
C. "You have made me sick with your disgusting talk!"

 5. You're on a plane and the bloke next to you gives you the eye and invites you to join the "Mile High Club." You...
 A. Shoot him on sight. He was unnecessary anyway.
B. Show him you're a card-carrying member by way of the bathroom
C. Inform him that while clubs aren't really your thing, your man is an Elk

 6. The mood is sultry and calls for some music. You reach for...
 A. Burt, baby, Burt!
B. Music to Strip for your Husband By
C. "Flight of the Valkyries"




For chaps

1. Which of these best describes your willy?
A. Mr. BIGGlesworth
B. Mini Me
C. Fat Bastard

 2. You’re in a groovy bar. A delicious bird saunters up and asks, "Do you come here often?" What’s your reply?
A. Do I what here often? My, you’re a randy chick!
B. You’re dead right, love. What’s your sign?
C. Only when they're showing a cricket match on the telly.

 3. Is your idea of mood music …
 A. Burt Bacharach’s "The Look of Love"
B. Blood, Sweat and Tears’ "You Made Me So Very Happy"
C. Sing Along with Mitch Miller

 4. After a night between the sheets, she mentions "settling down." You say:
A. Monogamy’s for squares, baby.
B. Anything you say, dearest, but I get the left side of the bed.
C. I was hoping you felt that way. We'll live with my Mother.

 5. It’s the heat of the moment and she says "Do you have protection?"
 A. That’s not a gun, baby — I’m just happy to see you!
B. Condoms are for sailors, not for swingers.
C. Does a chastity belt count?

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